Why I Love China #4

3 Oct

I love China.

There’s few other places where the packaging for sliced salami would make my day.

I bought this beauty a little while back:

In case you can’t read the label on the shoddy computer cam photo, it reads:

“Hamburger Flavor from Country of Foodball”

A food ball? Haha! Where do I sign up?

Obviously what the manufacturers meant was “football” but what is less obvious is what country they meant? Is it America, land of the Hamburger and American foodball? Or is it Germany, land of Hamburg City, World Cup 2006 and many other sausage and meat delights?

It turns out, it’s Italy, land of Salami and cheating, diving-in-the-box foodball (sorry Dani but it’s true!).

The fun continues on the other side of the packet:

It reads:

“Instructions: (because salami needs instructions)

The best of traditional salami. Made by combination of Monaco traditional process and modern technique. (I can’t remember if it said Monaco and Morocco – I hope it was Monaco because this salami is predominantly made of pork.) Fresh material and natural spices (pepper, herb etc.) It is characteristic of local cate. (cate?) 1. Put salami slices, ham, lettuce, Mozzarella or Jack cheese between bread. It taste like sandwich. (Who’d have thunk?) 2. Slice fresh eggplant into 1/2 inch thickness. Do not peel. Between the slices , salami slices, Mozzarella or Jack cheese were put, and eggs were used to conglutamate the slices. (Frickin’ glutamate – managed to get in there after all!) Then roasted in oven or frying pan, with 15 minutes for each sides. It tastes more delicious when it is still hot.”

So there you have it, Chinese Italian salami. Instructions and good times included.

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6 Responses to “Why I Love China #4”

  1. thalienc October 3, 2011 at 3:49 am #

    haha!

    • miravakily October 3, 2011 at 10:10 am #

      indeed… i can’t help but NOT buy these kind of products!

  2. unbravegirl October 3, 2011 at 12:20 pm #

    Did the instructions give any hint as to where I can get Mozzarella or Jack cheese in China? I mean, they were so helpful with all the other steps (so many instructions leave out the ever important conglutamate step), I figured they might also be able to tell me where to get some cheese.

    • miravakily October 3, 2011 at 3:31 pm #

      No, unfortunately not!! I bought the salami at Walmart which is no help either. It only seems to stock cheeses specifically aimed at kids, conveniently packaged in drinking cartons. I’m pretty sure they mean yogurt not cheese but I’ve been too afraid to try it out…not too keen on the idea of slurping fluid plasticky cheese through a straw in case I’m wrong!

  3. MaryAnne October 3, 2011 at 3:08 pm #

    Do you get Elaborate Bacon in Ningbo? That’s one of my favourites here!

    • miravakily October 3, 2011 at 3:35 pm #

      oooh… Elaborate Bacon!! I have not spied that one!! Or maybe my Chinglish sensor was down that day! I’ll have to keep an eye out!

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